The end of naps/starting quiet time
The end of your child’s nap can be a sad moment in time for many parents. I remember when my youngest stopped napping and my husband, in particular, was very concerned about when he would have an opportunity to nap on the weekends. Read on to learn everything you need to know about when children no longer need naps, what it looks like when naps are starting to come to an end and what to do instead of napping to help your child make it through the day.
Naps needed until 3-5 years old
Most children still need a nap until somewhere between 3 and 5 years old. Among my 2 kids, one decided she was done napping when her brother came along (when she was 3) and the other one I had to kick out of a nap when he was 5. They are all different. Yes, I have run across some 2 year olds who will not nap anymore and are able to make it through the day without too much trouble. This is often due to the fact that their parents are able to get them to bed very early in order to help them get enough sleep at night to get them through the day (often as much as 13 hours of night sleep). Don’t be fooled by your 2 year old’s nap boycotts. It is unlikely that your child is ready to give up naps entirely at this age. Sometimes if children move from the crib into the bed too early (under 2.5 or even 3 years old), this can also mean the end of the nap. I also find that if parents of toddlers with pacifiers attempt to take the paci away when they are 2 years old, this could mean the end of the nap. I don’t typically recommend getting rid of the paci until your child is 3 and you can fathom life without a nap.
When it is time to drop the nap
While your child may not have much trouble readily taking a nap, you may start to find that the nap is now pushing your child’s bedtime much later. For a 3 year old, the average nap length is an hour and a half and I find that the approximate awake window between when your child wakes up from a nap and is then ready to go to sleep at bedtime is about 6 hours. The math on that will tell you why you may be ready to go to bed before your toddler is. Attempting to put your toddler to bed when he or she hasn’t been awake long enough can lead to more and more bedtime shenanigans—like call backs and stalling. Beyond 3, if your child is napping an hour and a half or more, I would consider shortening the nap as this can lead to a very long awake window to bedtime. In addition, most child will continue to wake at the same time in the morning despite how late bedtime is being pushed. This means that your child is now getting less total sleep in a 24 hour period. When there is no nap and an earlier bedtime, you may find that your child now is sleeping more in a 24 hour period.
Things to keep in mind when dropping the nap
You may find that when your child is starting to drop their nap, it can become a bit haphazard in terms of what days your child naps what days he doesn’t. Naps may happen every other day for a while or every 2 or 3 days, it becomes clear that he or she really doesn’t need a nap. Some kids who go to daycare will solidly nap at daycare whatever days they are there, but not at home with their parents. The same thing can happen if you have a nanny and your child will nap for the nanny but when parents are home. When your child doesn’t nap in bed anymore, you may find that if you go someplace in the car, he or she will pass out for the duration of the drive. Be careful about accidental naps that happen in the car late in the day. I typically have the cut off for a car nap around 3 or 3:30pm. A super late car nap can really sabotage bedtime and push it significantly later. All this is to say that it could be several months before your child can tolerate not napping for good.
Quiet time
When your child is either done napping or if there are going to be days when you are deliberately not having your child nap, this is a good opportunity to introduce quiet time. How easily your child adapts to quiet time is going to be based on how well your child plays independently. I typically encourage parents to have quiet time in their child’s room but I have also done it in a playroom. The important part is that this is time your child is spending on their own. This is not playtime with you. This is important as it gives your child time when they don’t have a lot of external stimuli coming at them. It gives their brain a break. It will also give you as a parent a much needed break in the day. I often encourage parents to put together a basket or box of things that their child only gets during quiet time. This can make it a bit more enticing. Books are, of course, great for quiet time. Other recommendations are size/age appropriate Legos, Magnatiles, Wikki Sticks, color forms, lacing cards, Imaginetics, matching games, I Spy Books and Dot to Dot books. I also recommend using a visual toddler timer to help your child understand how much time is remaining. Ideally, you can get to an hour of quiet time but sometimes you have to start with a smaller increment and then work up to an hour.
I know that the end of the nap can feel sad. It means that your baby is growing up!!! Struggling with dropping the nap? Feel free to reach out to discuss how to incorporate the end of the nap into your new schedule.
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