Sleep crutches: what they are and the impact on sleep
What are sleep crutches?
Ah sleep crutches. When they work, they are GREAT. This is why we do them. Sleep crutches, also known as sleep associations or sometimes referred to as sleep props, are anything that we do for or to our children in order to help them fall asleep at the onset of sleep. Some examples of sleep crutches are rocking, feeding (both breastfeeding and bottle feeding), holding, bouncing, holding your child’s hand to sleep, patting or for children sleeping in beds, a parent laying down with the child to fall asleep at bedtime. I do want to be very clear that if you are using a sleep crutch to get your child to sleep and it is working for you and/or your family, then this is not something that you have to change. It is only something to be changed if it is no longer working for you.
Babies under 4-6 months often need sleep crutches
I do want to be very clear about who I am speaking about when I refer to sleep crutches. Babies are not born with the immediate ability to soothe and regulate themselves. These are things you will need to help your child with in the first few months of life. This is normal and it important to do those things because this is how your baby starts to trust that if he/she needs something, you will be there.
When sleep crutches stop working
BUT…as children move past the 4-6 month mark, they start to become very capable of falling asleep independently. In many instances, these sleep crutches will stop working. This means that you may feed your baby and he/she falls asleep, but when you go to make the transfer to a sleeping space, your baby wakes up. Or, now your baby wakes after 30 or 45 minutes or every 2 hours throughout the night. This is can be an indication that your child is starting to become capable of falling asleep independently. When this happens, you can start to teach your child how to fall asleep without the help of the sleep association.
How do you stop using sleep crutches?
This is where sleep coaching often comes in so that children can start to develop the skill of falling asleep on their own at bedtime and then use that skill repeatedly throughout the night to go back to sleep. Sleep coaching does not have to be a horrible and dreaded process. In many cases, parents can be involved in a way that is both supportive, nurturing and eye opening. Parents tell me all the time that they were amazed by the fact that they could see their child learning this new skill right in front of their eyes. Contact me to schedule an initial call so we can talk about how to work together to help your child start to learn these skills–tools your child will use for the rest of their life.