2 year old sleep challenges: Parents stuck in the room

Separation anxiety ebbs and flows all throughout toddlerhood.  It can be very intense at times where you can’t leave a room to do anything without your toddler running and screaming after you.  I often remind parents of toddlers, particularly in cases where parents are not leaving for work or toddlers are not going to school, that going to sleep at night can be the biggest separation that your child experiences all day. You are now asking your toddler to separate for a long time and your child knows this. Your toddler may use his new words to tell you to stay in the room, saying “Mommy, sit there,” pointing to a nearby chair.  At first, you might find it helpful that your toddler is communicating his needs.  It’s when 2 months later, you find yourself still sitting “there” that it can be more of a problem.  This can also lead to night wakings where your toddler wakes, realizes you are no longer in your same spot and calls you (often hysterically) to return to your chair.

Becoming “unstuck”

Don’t get me wrong, I have parents stay in the room with their children all the time when they are going to sleep as a way of providing comfort and support in the process of learning sleep skills.  However, it isn’t meant to be a forever situation. You will eventually need to get yourself “unstuck” from the room.  Children become acclimated to things after only 3 days so if you have been in your spot for longer then that, it is going to be something of a change to move.  I wouldn’t expect that your toddler will suddenly decide, of their own accord, to dismiss you and allow you to leave. I often use a behavioral fading approach like The Sleep Lady Shuffle to help parents remove themselves from the room over a period of several days so that their child is able to tolerate it once they are finally moving out of the room.