What is a false start and why does it happen?
When you become a new parent, there are all sorts of new terms that start being thrown around, especially as it relates to sleep. Terms like awake window, overtiredness, sleep regressions. False start is another one of those terms. When parents talk about false starts, they are usually referring to what happens when they put their child to sleep for what seems like bedtime, but their child (usually it is a baby) wakes up repeatedly in the first part of the night. This phenomena can happen for a variety of reasons.
First off, it warrants saying that there is much about sleep in babies that is both confusing and frustrating. We often find ourselves banging our head against the wall and wondering “why won’t you just sleep??? Why is this so hard?” Most of us don’t remember learning this skill and, of course, when you are a new parent, you are so exhausted yourself that it is hard to fathom why someone might not just pass out once they are laying down. But there is much about baby sleep that is counterintuitive to how we might think as adults.
For very young newborns, bedtime is often very late. I always say that bedtime for a newborn is when you put a different pair of sweats, you turn off the lights and call it bedtime. This may be as late as 11pm or 12am in the early days and weeks of your newborn’s life. In those early weeks, it is your job to help your newborn straighten out their days and nights so that they sleep a bit less during the day and a bit more at night. You can do this by not letting them sleep longer then about 2-2.5 hours at a time, ensuring that they are being exposed to natural sunlight and fresh air and eating frequently during the daytime. One circumstance when a false start may happen is if you are attempting to put your newborn to bed too early. While there are some very young babies that are on board with an early bedtime early on, many don’t start to move their bedtime earlier until somewhere between 3 and 4 months. This is normal so please try not to stress if your 2 month old is still going to bed at 10pm. The day is often a series of naps that eventually culminates in bedtime where you will get a slightly longer stretch of sleep to start the night (that could be anywhere from 3-8 hours) and then your baby goes back to their regular feeding pattern from there. So if you try to put your 2 month old baby to bed at 7pm and they keep waking every 30-45 minutes, this can be an indication that they are just not ready for the earlier bedtime yet and you are better off doing a lateish nap before moving onto bedtime.
Another scenario where it might seem like a false start happening is if you are in the midst of the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. If you aren’t familiar with this term, I highly encourage you to read more about it in this article. During the 4 month regression, your baby’s brain is going through a huge burst of developmental awareness that may make you think that your baby is suddenly allergic to sleep. I promise, it isn’t forever, but it is most definitely painful. If, prior to that regression (which I find starts at about 15 weeks), you were able to put your baby to sleep in your arms either by rocking, feeding, or holding and successfully transfer them into their sleeping space for an initial stretch of sleep at night, you might find that your baby is now popping awake again every 30 to 45 minutes because they are now alert to the point that when they go through those early in the night sleep cycles, they can’t keep themselves asleep. This is a struggle, no doubt, but can improve as you pass through the regression.
The last scenario where a false start may occur is the most solvable. This is when you are using a sleep crutch to help your child who is past 4 months old fall asleep at bedtime and now they are continuing to wake regularly in the first part of the night. This is likely due to the fact that your child is capable of putting themselves to sleep at the onset of sleep but hasn’t learned how to do so yet. Now when they go through all of those initial sleep cycles soon after bedtime, they need help again getting back to sleep either using the same sleep crutch as was used at bedtime or possibly more intervention. What resolves this is helping your child develop the independent skills of falling asleep on their own at bedtime so that when they go through the early in the night sleep cycles, they are able to keep themselves asleep. Whenever I work with a family whose child is learning the skill of falling asleep on their own at bedtime, the early night wakings typically stop happening within the first night or 2 as they become capable of getting themselves to sleep and back to sleep. Sure, if you are watching your child on a video monitor, you may see them wake up and fall back to sleep during that early part of the night, but now this is done independently.
If you would like help with teaching your child the skill of falling asleep and back to sleep independently, please schedule an initial call so we can talk about how to help your child become a great sleeper!