10 myths about baby sleep
One of the hardest parts of being a new parent these days is managing all of the information that one reads about all topics related to babies. There is SO MUCH information available on websites and social media. It’s enough to make your head spin. Not to mention all the things that well meaning family and friends will tell you. What’s more is that the more you read and hear, the more it becomes clear that much of this information starts to contradict itself. No place is this more evident then when it comes to information on baby sleep. For that reason, I thought it might be helpful to dispel some of the more common myths you will hear about your baby’s sleep.
Myth: Don’t wake a sleeping baby. I think this is the oldest myth of them all. I’m not even sure where it comes from. There are many reasons to wake sleeping babies. For newborns, they will often sleep all day and be up all night if you don’t help them switch over their internal clock. To adjust that clock, I typically recommend waking your baby after about 2 hours of sleep during the day so that she can be exposed to natural sunlight and fresh air and to ensure that she is eating in order to get in plenty of calories during the day and then need less at night. Also, babies who have older siblings are woken ALL THE TIME to pick those siblings up and drop them off at school and other activities.
Myth: Solid food will help your baby sleep better. Many babies will start sleeping better around 6 months, which coincidentally lines up with when some children also start having solid food. This however, is correlative, not causative. Many babies can start to become better sleepers around 6 months due to the fact that their brain is developing to a point where they are able to soothe and regulate themselves better at night. They are able to go for longer stretches without needing to eat as much at night due to the fact that their stomachs are larger by then allowing for more food intake during the day. Early solid foods are mostly just carbohydrates (cereals, fruits and veggies), which are great for experimentation with new flavors and textures but often don’t add that much nutrition to your baby’s diet.
Myth: Babies should always be awake from naps by 5pm. Newborns sleep off and on throughout the day. They also typically have very late bedtimes until somewhere around 3-4 months, at which point, bedtime starts to drift earlier as babies are less able to nap as late into the evening. For children under about 6 months, it is very normal to still take some later naps. Usually by 6 months, that last nap starts to move earlier and bedtime falls about 2 hours after the last nap ends (for a 6 month old).
Myth: Babies should sleep in the same place for naps as they do at night. Many newborns do well sleeping in their cribs at night but, much to many parents’ frustration, will refuse to nap in the crib. Day sleep and night sleep are controlled by two different parts of your baby’s brain, which is why things that work at night don’t work during the day and vice versa. For babies under 6 months, I encourage parents to do whatever they need to do to safely help their baby nap. This may mean holding to sleep or sleeping in a carrier or on a walk in the stroller. Even as children get older, they sometimes sleep in different places for naps then at night. For instance naps may be in a crib at daycare, at a nanny share or a grandparent’s house.
Myth: Holding your newborn for naps will create bad sleep habits. If there is nothing else you remember, please be assured that there is nothing you are doing to help your baby sleep in the first 4-6 months of their life that is going to create a long term sleep problem. Many newborns are reluctant to be put down. This could be because your baby is in their 4th trimester and isn’t quite ready to be “out” yet, or because your baby may have reflux that makes being put down on a flat surface extremely uncomfortable. Sure, if you are able to put your baby down for naps, great! If this is a struggle, maybe you just practice it once a day and see how it goes. As your baby gets older, he will be able to nap more on his own. If you are in the 4-6 month age range or beyond and you are ready to not be holding your baby for sleep, then let me know and we can make a change.
Myth: Only formula fed babies can sleep well. Breastfed babies can sleep just as well as formula fed babies. Due to the nature of bottle feeding versus breastfeeding, it may seem as though formula babies are scheduled earlier on in life. Breastfed babies tend to have different feeding patterns which aren’t as regulated by the clock when they are newborns. However, there many breastfed babies the world over who are fantastic sleepers. You don’t have to choose between breastfeeding and sleep.
Myth: Babies don’t need to eat in the middle of the night after 4 months old. While some babies are ready to be done eating in the middle of the night at just 4 months old, many children will continue to have a feeding or two for many months longer. How much your child needs to eat at night is very individual and is based on how well your child eats during the day, how well your baby is growing and the recommendations of your pediatrician.
Myth: A 4 hour feeding schedule during the day will lead to longer stretches of sleep at night. All children need a certain number of calories over a 24 hour period (how much food your child needs is based on your individual child and not someone else’s). If you are trying to spread out feedings during the day (especially for a baby under 4 months), he is likely to wake more in the middle of the night in order to get in those missed calories. I typically recommend feeding babies every 2-3 hours during the day (at least) so that they are getting what they need and can then go longer at night without needing feeding. For a baby under 4 months, he will most certainly let you know if he is hungry at night though because nothing but food will satisfy him.
Myth: Some babies need significantly less sleep then others. The sleep average for children are just that, averages. Some children need more and some less. It’s a bell curve. However, most children aren’t drastically off from the averages by more then an hour one direction or the other.
Myth: Babies should be sleeping through the night by 3 months old. Sure, there are some babies who, without doing a whole lot, will start sleeping some amazing stretches (think 11-12 hours without waking). While this is possible, it is not the norm for all children. It is so hard when you have friends who tell you that their baby was sleeping through the night at 3 month old and yours isn’t. I often suggest that this just means that you need different friends and not that there is something wrong with your baby.