Before you move your child from a crib to a bed, consider this

Of all the child sleep transitions, moving your child from a crib to a bed often feels the most daunting to parents.  This is where you go from having your child contained in the nice and predictable sleep environment of the crib to…FREEDOM!  As a parent, I can say that nothing can strike more fear in your heart then the sound of your child’s pitter pattering feet coming down the hall at a time when he is supposed to be sleeping soundly in his bed. 

There are several things to take into consideration before moving your child into a bed.

Age

How old is your child?  From a developmental standpoint, you ideally want your child to be at least 2.5 years old before making this move.  If you can wait until closer to 3, even better.  The older your child is, the smoother this move tends to be.  I know we all know people who have moved their child into a bed at a younger age, and it went generally well.  Often those toddlers fall into the category of children that I call “rule followers,” meaning that you tell your toddler that he has to stay in his bed and he does it.  No questions asked, no boundaries pushed.  If you have a child who is a “rule breaker” (these are the majority of my clients), then the longer you have the rails in place, the better.

The reason for the 2.5 year old (at least) cut off is important is because this is when children start to develop the cognitive skill of self control.  This means that your child knows how to control their body enough to understand that at bedtime, when it is time to go to sleep, he needs to keep his body in bed.  This holds true again for the middle of the night when, if the mood strikes him, he can stay in bed again.  The example I often give is “would you trust your toddler to stand on the sidewalk, not holding your hand, without running into the street?”  If the answer is no, then keeping his body in bed at bedtime is going to be hard.   As a side note, if your toddler is no longer strapped into a booster seat/high chair for eating and you are having a hard time getting him to eat a meal, self control is also playing a similar role here. 

Your child’s current sleep skills

If your child has never been a good sleeper and has always needed help falling asleep at bedtime and then again in the middle of the night, the move to the bed is not going to improve the situation.  In fact, it will probably get worse.  I often speak to parents of young toddlers who are still in a crib and they will wonder if it is worthwhile to put in the effort to improve their child’s sleep while in the crib if they are just going to have to transition them to the bed soon.  The answer is YES!!! It is always easier to make sleep improvements with children in cribs.  This will make the move to the bed, when your child is really ready, SOOOO much easier.  Once their child is sleeping well in the crib, parents are always shocked how long their child will continue to sleep in the crib before really being ready for a bed.  The crib becomes their child’s safe, happy, secure, comfortable space. 

Is this a good time to be making this move? 

So often, parents will move a child from a crib to a bed in anticipation of needing the crib for a younger sibling who is either on the way or who has arrived on the scene.  I would certainly agree that it is not a good idea to take a crib from an older sibling one day and give it to a baby the next day.  However, babies can sleep in all sorts of other sleep environments before they are ready for a crib.  It can be months before you really need that crib for the baby.  In the meantime, the baby can sleep in a bassinet or a pack n play.  Having a sibling come along is a big adjustment.  If your older child’s crib is their safe, happy place, keeping this the same can be very comforting in the face of so much change.  Also, if you are going to be up in the middle of the night with a baby, no need to add the toddler into the mix.

BIG SECRET TO SHARE!!!!  This is something that no one told me after my 2nd child was born but I am sharing it with you:  Sometimes, when a sibling comes along, an older child (particularly those around 2 or 3 years old), will start waking in the middle of the night screaming.  This can feel very alarming, and you most definitely need to respond.  Often the child just needs some reassurance that all is okay and can then go right back to sleep.  For 2 or 3 year olds, they may have limited ability to understand what has really happened with the big change in the family dynamic.  They just know that their world has been rocked in ways that it will never be the same.  This can produce screaming in the middle of the night because your toddler may not have the words to really articulate how he or she feels about the new addition to their family.  Stay calm.  Offer that reassurance.  It will pass. 

Has your child climbed out of the crib? Is there a safe way to keep him in the crib a little longer? 

The most common reason that most parents move their child out of a crib very early is because the child has climbed out of the crib.  The youngest age child I have ever seen climb out of a crib is 14 months.  That is VERY young but some kids are monkeys.  Here are some ways that you can attempt to make it harder for your child to get out to buy yourself some time: 

Does your crib have rails that extend all the way to the floor all around the crib?  Some cribs do, some don’t.  If this is the case for you, you can take out the mattress support platform and put the mattress directly onto the floor, thus making your crib deeper. 

Can you put your child in a sleep sack to make it harder to get a leg up and over the rails?  They make sleep sacks for children up to 3 years old.  Many have feet so your child can walk around in it but it will make it harder to climb out. 

As a last resort, you can put a crib tent on.  Crib tents were all recalled for safety concerns several years ago.  They have been updated and redesigned and are now available again.  This can be a sanity saver for many parents of young toddlers who have climbed out.  If your child isn’t even close to 2.5 years old and none of the above options have been effective at keeping your child in the crib, this can be a good option. 

If you have moved your child out of his crib too soon, it may be possible to put him back in

If he hasn’t climbed out, was never interested in climbing out and you still have the crib, then please consider returning him to his crib.  Many parents question this and feel like it is a step backwards.  This is absolutely not the case.  If your child was sleeping well in their crib prior to moving him out then his crib is his happy place and you will likely see that your child is relieved to be back in where he is comfortable.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Do what is best for your child at that moment and not based on a long term goal of him someday sleeping in a bed or whatever someone else might say.  Your child will thank you for it by going back to being a great sleeper!