The benefits of mindfulness and relaxation techniques for kids

As parents, we often struggle to shut down after a long day.  Whether you are working outside the home or are staying home with small children (a VERY hard job), no matter how exhausted we are at the end of the day, it can still be hard to put our brains to bed and go to sleep.  Children, especially those toddler age and above, are no different.  For toddlers, they are taking in vast amounts of information all day long.  As children get older, they develop more interpersonal relationships, they have academic demands and often outside of school activities.  All of this can make the end of the day and the bedtime process even more difficult.  Not to mention the fact that when children are anticipating the separation that happens at bedtime, this can be a time that our children are looking for increased connection.

There are many instances where I will recommend that parents start to help children practice the process of shutting down at bedtime and helping their brain prepare for sleep.  I can’t emphasize enough the importance of still continuing a bedtime routine even for older children.  When I work with children in the 6-10 year old age range, I have often seen that sometimes the routines that we implemented when our children were younger have gone to the wayside, either because we have fallen out of the habit or because we assumed our children didn’t need them anymore.  Even as adults, we have our own bedtime routines.  We brush our teeth, maybe even floss, wash our face, put on pajamas and hopefully disconnect from screens before bed.  I find that I always need to read for at least a few minutes before I go to sleep.  No matter how tired I am, if I try to go to sleep without reading, it takes me twice as long to fall asleep.  If I read, I am often able to close my book and fall asleep very quickly.  That is because my brain needs that time where it is immersed in something totally unrelated to my day to shut down.  In the case of school age children, there is a lot of evidence that even for children who can read to themselves, there is value in still reading to them as part of their bedtime routine.

Beyond reading, there are other ways to help your child learn to down-regulate their bodies for sleep.  I will often have parents listen to child-focus mindfulness recordings or podcasts with their child before bed.  These types of guided relaxation stories usually involve talking children through awareness of what is happening in their bodies and minds as they are laying down and preparing for sleep.  A few different ones that I recommend are the Goodnight World Podcast (a Sesame Street/Headspace collaboration), Bedtime Stories and Meditations for Kids in the Calm app or I will advise parents to search in YouTube for Kids Relaxation or Guided Meditation exercises that you can LISTEN to, not watch.  I fully acknowledge that bringing your phone into the room during your child’s bedtime routine can be a slippery slope.  Even if you are just playing the sound through your phone, some children have a hard time not begging to look at it.  I strongly advised you not to allow your child to look at a screen during any part of your bedtime routine.  Instead I will suggest using a Bluetooth speaker (ideally not a smart speaker that your child can start making requests to) that allows you to play sound in your child’s room while leaving your phone outside the room.  Prior to bedtime, you and your child can decide what they will be listening to during their bedtime relaxation time.  The relaxation techniques that your child learns at bedtime are tools that they can continue to use if they wake in the middle of the night or at other times of stress in their lives.  Give it a shot!  Let us know how it goes.